


Heart Hidden in the Sleeve

by R_Black



Category: Justice League: Gods and Monsters (2015)
Genre: I imagine Kirk as demisexual, I wish Will could have just opened his eyes and invited Kirk into the relationship, Multi, Small panic attacks, but it still hurts kirk, no happy ending, or at the VERY least demiromantic, then everybody would win, very small
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 13:45:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15220436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_Black/pseuds/R_Black
Summary: Kirk's feelings confuse him on a normal day. When he meets Will (and eventually Tina), those feelings just get even more confusing.





	Heart Hidden in the Sleeve

Feelings in general were hard for Kirk. Opening up just never felt… _safe_. After all, if he ever opened up to his parents, it only gave him a scolding from Dad and an apology from Mom. He learned quickly that numbing everything was the best survival skill.

And it usually worked. He didn’t come across too coldly, he’d been told. Just…distant.

But what had worked growing up didn’t necessarily work in college. His roommate, Will, was too extroverted to allow Kirk to lock himself away. Many a party were attended alongside Will, and eventually Kirk grew to like the idea of them. And when alcohol was introduced, suddenly Kirk could _feel_. He felt emotions; happiness, sadness, an overwhelming sense of _anxiety_ that he would try to drown out with more drinks.

Kirk felt comfortable around Will, and soon he found out showing a bit of his feelings around his roommate was not only acceptable, but encouraged. If Kirk smiled or laughed, Will laughed with him. If Kirk was sad, Will was there to at least put a hand on his shoulder.

There was one instance where Kirk’s anxiety flared up while he was sober, and that was probably not what Will had wanted to deal with when he got back to the dorm room.

“Kirk?” Will called, closing the door behind him.

He found his roommate in the closet, crying and struggling to breathe.

“Hey, hey,” Will said quickly, bending down and patting Kirk’s back. “Breathe, buddy. Try to breathe.”

Kirk hiccupped, but he tried to do as he was told. His head hurt, his chest felt full of _something_ he couldn’t explain, everything felt like it was closing in on him and leaving him behind at the same time.

Will awkwardly squeezed himself into the closet and gave Kirk a small hug. “Hey, it’s going to be okay, Kirk. Just breathe. I’m here for you, big guy.”

After a few minutes of coaxing and talking down, Kirk finally caught his breath and was able to gulp in air again. He’d pulled his knees to his chest and put his head in his arms by this point. Will was patient, though. He waited for Kirk to open up again.

Eventually, he did. Kirk uncurled himself and looked at Will with puffy eyes. “I’m sorry, Will…I didn’t…”

Will shushed him. “No. Don’t you apologize, man. I know a panic attack when I see one. Feel like sharing?”

Kirk shook his head. “I don’t want to burden you with my baggage.”

Will lightly slapped the back of Kirk’s head. “We’re friends, doofus. And friends don’t let friends self-destruct. Now, what set you off, huh? Did you have shots without me? You know what drinking does to your tiny brain.”

Kirk smiled a little at the joke, but it was gone within a few seconds. “I just…a lot of feelings hit me at once, and I’m not used to it. Sorry.”

Will huffed, smiling. “Well, that’s what happens when you bottle up stuff. I can’t force you to stop that, but next time, maybe call me? If I’m busy I can at least contact the school counselor or something. You don’t have to suffer alone, Kirk.”

From then on, Will was more careful about leaving Kirk alone in the dorm room. He and Kirk grew closer, and Kirk felt safe near Will. It was an odd feeling, _safety_. Kirk liked it.

And then Tina arrived. Kirk suddenly became shy again, and Will just wouldn’t have it.

_“Kirk,”_ he’d say, _“Tina and I are going to Starbucks. Get your coat and come with.”_

It took considerably longer to get used to Tina, probably due to the fact that he wasn’t living together with her. Bless her, she tried her hardest to get to know Kirk, to get him to warm up to her.

It wasn’t really successful until Will had to go an event upstate, and Kirk was left alone in the dorm room for about a week. Will had given Tina a spare key and told her to pop in every now and again, make sure the dummy was eating.

Naturally, Tina had found Kirk passed out on his bed, literally starving. He’d stayed up for two days working on his lab tests and research paper; eating just wasn’t something that crossed his mind.

“Geeze, Kirk, how did you survive without Will _before_?” Tina asked playfully as she heated up a TV dinner.

Kirk pulled his blanket over his head, trying to hide his shame. “I…I don’t really know,” he admitted. “I think I used to incorporate photosynthesis at one point.”

Tina laughed. “I doubt that. You’re pretty pale, from what I’ve seen.”

At the laugh, Kirk dared to peek out from his blanket barricade.

The microwaved dinged and Tina pulled out the dinner. “Here,” she said, handing him the meal. “I promise I won’t tell Will you didn’t eat for days.”

“If he knew to send you, he probably already knew I’d need food.” Kirk chomped on a chicken finger, suddenly realizing just how hungry he was. “I’m sorry you had to babysit me instead of seeing Will at his event.”

“What, and miss all the fun here?” Tina asked, gesturing to the Beastie Boy posters on the wall and the clothes littered on the floor. She leaned a little closer to Kirk. “What’s with the hijab, Kirk?”

He blushed and pushed the blanket back. He’d forgotten it was still covering his head. “Don’t you have classes right now?”

“Don’t you?” she countered.

They fell silent after that. It felt a little awkward hearing only Kirk chewing his food.

“Do you hate me, Kirk?” Tina suddenly asked.

Kirk nearly choked on a chicken finger. “Wh-What?”

Tina leaned back, crossing her legs and arms. “I’m serious. I noticed you don’t like talking to me, you avoid me like the plague, and you always kinda…shrink behind Will when you can. If you don’t like me, you can just say so. I won’t be offended.”

Kirk shook his head. “No! No, no, no! I don’t hate you at all! I just…I take a while to get used to people, that’s all.” He pulled the blanket back over his head. “I’m sorry I’m like this…”

Tina pushed the blanket away, smiling. “You don’t have to be sorry. I should have known, or maybe asked Will earlier.”

Their eyes met briefly, and Kirk felt his cheeks heat up. He looked away, unsure of what to do or say in this situation. Was this good? Bad? What should he say? Was there anything that would offend Tina right now?

He didn’t realize he was starting to take shorter and quicker breaths until Tina patted his shoulder. “Hey,” she said softly. “It’s okay, Kirk. You’re okay. Breathe.”

It didn’t take very long for Kirk to control his breathing again. He looked at Tina and smiled. “Thanks.”

Tina returned the smile. “Anytime. Would…Would you mind if I gave you a hug?”

Kirk blinked. Nobody really hugged him, at least not while they were sober. Hugs never made him feel good, but he didn’t have any negative feelings towards them. He shrugged.

Tina smiled wider. She gave Kirk a hug. He froze for a second, then returned the embrace. He liked this. He decided he liked Tina.

They sat and talked for a few hours. Tina shared with Kirk her interests, quirks, and family stories, and listened with a supporting smile when Kirk shared some of his past and anxieties. She helped comfort some of his fears regarding past decisions, and gave the same offer Will had; that if Kirk ever needed someone to talk to, she was always available to help.

After that, Kirk was open to both Will and Tina. They understood him, his muted feelings, his interests, and studies. They liked him for who he was.

And he liked them…Maybe even… _loved_ them.

He wished he was brave enough to bring it up to them. But, the closer Tina and Will became as a couple, the harder it became for Kirk to admit his feelings out loud. The years passed, and they all got their Bachelors and Masters together. By the time they were almost done with their PhDs, Kirk was firmly locked in the _Third Wheel_ position of the group.

Yet he didn’t mind. Will and Tina would go on dates all the time, but they always asked if he wanted to go, too. Most of the time, he was forced to go anyway (Will would say it was because Tina wanted to make sure Kirk was eating that day, Tina would say it was because Will needed a guy friend to chat with). They both cared for Kirk, and he cared for them.

Being together meant the world to him, and he hoped, the day before graduation sitting there in his lab working on his bat serum, that nothing would ever come between them.

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write out a bunch of Will/Tina/Kirk stuff, so sue me.


End file.
